"The stupidist story ever told"
The Christmas Story a la L. Ron Hubbard

According to the Gospel of Luke:

And it came to pass in those days, that there went out a decree from Caesar Augustus, that all the world should be taxed. . . And all went to be taxed, every one into his own city. And Joseph also went up from Galilee . . . unto the city of David, which is called Bethlehem . . . to be taxed with Mary his espoused wife, being great with Child.

According to L. Ron Hubbard, the big S or Source, the sole founder of The Church of Scientology™, there was this evil galatic ruler named Xenu who called in all the people in the galaxy for income tax inspections. But it was a trick. As his subjects arrived, Xenu had them shot them up with glycol to paralyze them and then had them transported to Teegeeack, which today is called the planet Earth. . . Now, Judge Babb, this might sound like poorly written science fiction, but actually it is the basis for the religion of Scientology™. And if the Christian story of the birth of Christ is "The Greatest Story Ever Told," then Hubbard's rendition has to be "The Stupidist". You best be sitting down for this one.